hinto muna ko dito. senxa na ha.

according to john gray's "men are from mars, women are from venus", "men are like rubber bands and women are like waves".
i can so relate to the WAVE theory and i think "my wave" is faster than the average female's wavelength.
well, before i get to the technicalities of the wave, let me just explain the reason with which women are compared to waves. Kasi daw waves build up to an ultimate high and then come crashing down to hit rock bottom.
parang ako.
assuming the theory works talaga, it's not just me. pero ayun nga sobrang bilis ng waves ko e...
i wonder if anyone would ever catch up to it, and understand. then, i think, no one will - not in this lifetime. so i have to SLOW DOWN, which by the way, is one of the simple things in life that i have difficulty of doing. slowing down for me means not eating buko pandan when i go to max's - well if you've seen me EAT you'll know this is a very big issue!
about the rubber bands, sabi dun, men are like rubber bands kasi daw men need space every once in a while, and then they come bac kwith much more force if you allow them to go back. it's like stretching the band tapos when you let go, it just snaps back nearer.
so much for that.

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i'm taking the spare time to update my BLOG because a few hours from now I will be headed to ANTIPOLO. It's for my travel article. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited. I have an itinerary already. Sana lang magkasya budget ko.

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ever heard of a good day turned ugly? tangina talaga. i need a PC.... may nambastos na naman skin dito sa computer shop. as in just now.... i just wish someone would rescue me from them. tangina talaga. TANGINA SHET. wish ko lang wala nang mambastos sakin. everywhere. pati ba naman dito sa CYBER. tama na nga.... sa susunod na lang ulet. nawalan na ko ng gana magBLOG!

"What is essential is invisible to the eye"
- The Little Prince

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i really need my own PC if i want to improve this. because it's hard when you're renting and you want to save files and stuff. besides, the computer shops near our home are quite commercialized (read: expensive). money doesn't spring out from trees!

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what's new: i've got writer's block. a disaster for a writer trying to make her first articles in the job... and lacking in inputs, i must say. I still need to make another interview for a meatier article. But I'm done with the first half already. i guess i'm sort of stressed and lacking in sleep these days. space issues are the culprit. reminds me of the old Queen song: "I want to break freeeeeeeeeeeee".

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just had new eyeglasses made. blue in color, elliptical in shape. it's really nice- way better than any pair i've had for years. and it came with a verrrry nice price too... i'm really excited to wear it- it will help make me look more mature. I guess I'm speeding up my growth too quickly. I need to slow down. How does a workaholic do that?

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i'm undergoing changes, and I guess it's up to me if i act upon it or not. there are weird things happening to me and i don't know what to do about it. this is one of the times i wish i could just draw someone out of the universe and have him or her understand. but i still haven't found that person- nde boyfriend pero super soul sister/ brother or something like that. i feel lonely. that's hard to admit, but it's true. maybe i'd just ignore it altogether.


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sometimes I ask God why He made me this way. Why me? Why these experiences? and why do I feel like I'm always filled with discontent? And no one seems to be able to supply the answers. So many questions which are unanswerable. I've tried mingling with different sorts of people but nothing changes. I'm just as dazed and confused as ever. I know something may be wrong with me or the way I see things, but I don't know what. In the first place, I still don't have an idea of who I am. sometimes i feel like giving up in trying to find the answers to these. I guess that makes me stupid when everyone thinks I'm smart. Or maybe I'm just thinking differently than the rest of the world so things that don't bother them bother me still. And things I appreciate mean nothing to anyone else.

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I feel like certain things in my life have fizzled out to extinction. And some whic have remained intact are already starting to head for demise. I need to find the fire, ignite the things I could still save and keep them burning. I am so fickle. I change from one form to another. I can't settle down. I can't stay fixed in a single place. Maybe I was born to be a nomad. A nomad who will never be understood and will never understand where the tides are taking her. The tides just seem to be playing with me. Fate just seem to playfully twist the strands of my life, with no care or idea with how it's affecting me. I feel torn, I feel like I will never find what I want for this life that was given me.

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I guess a trip down memory's lane will do me good for now. Just so I could REMEMBER how it was before. I easily forget.

i got this from my bulletin board... malaendless love ang dating eh...

THE WORST WAY TO MISS SOMEONE...


There was once this guy who is very
much in love with his girl...


This ROMANTIC GUY folded 1,000 pieces of paper
cranes
as a gift to his girl...
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in
his company,
his future doesn't seemed too bright,
they were very happy together...

Until one day,
his girl told him she was going to
Paris and will never come back.
She also told him that
she couldn't visualize
any future for the both of them,
so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed.
But when he regains his confidence,
he worked hard day and night,
slogging his body and mind
just to make something out of him....

Finally with all these hard work and the help of
friends,
this guy had set up his own company!
You never fail until you stop trying.

One rainy day,
while this guy was driving,
he saw an elderly couple sharing an
umbrella the rain walking to some destination.
Even with the umbrella,
they were still drenched.
It didn't take him long to realize
those were his girl's parents...
With a heart in getting back at them,
he drove slowly beside the couple,
wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan...

He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same
anymore;
he had his own company, car, condo, etc.
He made it!

Before the guy can realize,
the couple was walking towards a cemetery,
and he got out of his car and followed...

and he saw his girl,
a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at
him from her tombstone
and he saw his paper cranes beside her...

Her parents saw him.
He asks them why had this happened.
They explained,

she did not leave for France at all...
She was ill with cancer...

She had believed that he will make it someday,
but she did not want to be his obstacle!!...
therefore she had chosen to leave him.


Just because someone doesn't love you the way you
want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they
have.


She had wanted her parents to put his
paper cranes beside her,
because, if the day comes when fate brings him to
her again...
he can take some of those back with him..




Once you have loved,
you will always love...
For what's in your mind may escape
but what's in your heart will remain forever...



The guy just wept...



The worst way to miss someone
is to be sitting right beside them
knowing you can't have them.....
hope you would understand...


Find time to realize
that there is one person
who means so much to you,
for you might wake up one morning
losing that person
whom you thought meant nothing to you...



.... all i ask and want is for a chance for you
to trust and accept me for who i am and for you
to see that everything i do i just do it for you
because i truly love you with all my heart and
soul...

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COMMITMENT (II)

back to the commitment thing, i think it's great to have a commitment but then it's also hard to draw the line when you're either exceeding or lacking in giving love its proper attention... even the spice girls know that: 'too much of something is bad enough... too much of nothing is just as tough'...


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i just hope my newfound joys would last longer than the usual...

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"You're not listening with your heart You're listening with your brain. Your brain has the problem... maybe we are crazy, but we see the truth more than other people do..."

Chloe (penelope cruz), "Gothika"

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i was in the jeepney from SM Manila and suddenly thoughts bombard me. Now that I am seated here in this cyber cafe, i have forgotten everything. this is major shet...

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COMMITMENT... (my version and definition)

do you know what that means talaga?

it means loving someone unconditionally and incessantly. and it's not about feelings or pheromones (ah nasabi ko na to sa previous entry ko)... pero there comes a point you are being tested talaga... that's when you actually realize kung mahal mo nga ba talaga ang isang tao... na kahit naaattract ka na sa maraming tao who seem to bring about something new and fresh (attract meaning big crush), you still love and commit yourself dun sa pinili mo noon...

well, isn't it great to commit yourself to someone no matter what? it gets harder lang naman if you're becoming fickle minded or if your mind is experiencing a major revamp...

hard din about the commitment thing is that you have to consider someone else's needs beside your own... mahirap 'to lalo na kung spoiled brat na kagaya ko...

wtf am i saying? more on this next time!

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